The first 5k's were fine- I wouldn't say I was on a "runners high" because there was nothing " high" about knowing you still have 16k's left to run, but my energy was good and I was smiling inside.
As we headed up the hill towards the rural roads, something really started to bother me. The walkers. You can waste an awful lot of energy weaving in and out of throngs of walkers.
It was around the 13k mark that I seriously began wishing a car would hit me so I wouldn't have to complete the race...I don't know why it was so hard. I have run 13k's many times before in my practice runs and felt fine so I still don't know why this was such a mental barrier for me.
Anyway, I gritted my teeth and kept running up the hills, around the walkers with sweat dripping down my face and back. I was determined not to stop and walk. I knew that once I started walking, I would lose momentum and not be able to get going again.. I think you can see where this is going.
Once we came back into the Whangamata township I saw the 16k mark and just had to start walking. I made excuses- it's so hot, I'm nauseous, I'm going to DIE! And looking back now I am so bummed that I didn't run without stopping. I jogged a few lamp posts, walked a few and then started continuously running from 18k's till the end.. but by then a lot of the runners I had spent energy passing during the race had overtaken me.
I crossed the finish line with a time of 2:23 feeling really disappointed with myself. I know I should be happy, but I am just disappointed at myself for not being able to do what I know I am capable of doing.
So, does this mean I will never run another Half marathon? I am not sure. I learned a lot of valuable lessons and I know I could knock the socks off that 21k run.. I guess only time will tell!
Awesome work sis, far at least you finished the race that's all that matters. Good work.
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